Introduction When most people decide to get married, they often base their decision to wed on what they feel and not necessarily what they can prove. With that said, any relationship built on fraudulent information or details is a relationship that will not last. The ignorance we have regarding the people we marry, eventually sleep with, and conceive children is dangerous. If we are not willing to investigate the person’s background for whom we are promising to marry, how do we know that someday that person will not be the one to end our existence on earth? ​Now, as farfetched as this might sound, this is a more sad reality for people than you might think. If you do not believe this is true, feel free to search your favorite search engine, type in the phrase ‘women killed by boyfriend,’ and then settle yourself in for some heartbreaking stories and gruesome statistics. People are tying the knot without knowing much about their tolerances, likes or dislikes, and even less about the person they are determined to be with for the rest of their lives. One of the number one causes of divorce involves infidelity or what many might call a lack of commitment. If you are not asking pointed questions to determine a potential spouses’ tolerance, how do you know that person will be committed in a relationship? How do you know that they will be faithful in marriage? ​If infidelity is the number one cause for divorce, issues involving money matters must be listed as 1A. How many folks do you presume to get married without knowing anything about their partner’s credit, spending habits, or how they earn their money? How many people engage in romantic relationships with those who lack a job or good credit but do so because of contributing factors associated with low self-esteem? Thus, ignoring one of the most impactful factors in any relationship? Accordingly, based on the reasons outlined in this prologue, this text was written. In truth, many people like myself have married and divorced multiple times without consideration of any of the information you are about to read. I hate to admit it, but much of what we have been taught about relationships and, to a large extent, life, in general, is fiction, fairytales, and mythology. If I may be very candid, no one is going to save you from yourself, your lack of knowledge, or your self-inflicted circumstances. This is a job that is exclusively yours. To attract the perfect mate, you must become their perfect match. Being the perfect spouse requires preparation. ​And to be clear, none of this is about your appearance, how well you smell, how well you cook, or how many sexual positions you can perform from the ceiling fan. What I am describing has to do with an individual’s character. ​Your personal development means that you have worked on the things that make you an asset as a partner and not a liability. You see, that is what I was in both my failed marriages. I was a huge liability. At the time, I really thought that my efforts made me an asset in their lives. I was mistaken. I was not an asset at all. I was just a fool. And for some people entering relationships, their entrance into a presumed love affair is all about the chores that they are looking to have some fool to do. This book was written to ensure that you do not end up in a relationship where you are not loved, respected, or valued. ​This happens to be where I found myself so many years ago. Through counseling, I learned that the biggest failure in my relationships was myself. Additionally, I had to accept that my role in not picking the right people to love was on me. I expected people to give me something that I did not pick them to do. If you want freshly squeezed orange juice for breakfast, why would you go out to purchase a barrel of tomatoes? If we choose people for purposes other than love, respect, and honor, we can expect those same people to give us things that do not include the aforementioned characteristics. ​In this regard, this is why I believe the expression that a good man or woman is hard to find is nonsense. How can a person rightfully define a good man or woman if they are not one themselves? How can a person declare what a good man or woman is when they have only been looking for sexual partners or glorified roommates? In my opinion, most people would not be able to tell the difference between a good man and a good woman even if someone stood directly in front of them with a sign around their neck declaring such. As a matter of fact, I believe that this is true because the characteristics of what it means to be a decent, kind, compassionate, caring, and unselfish individual are not taught, explained, exhibited, or revealed to us during our formative years. If we are honest, it is not reflected in the more significant portion of society from which we originate. Excerpted from Dig Deep Before You Leap by CL. Reddon. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.